Bad Dudes Vs. Dragon Ninja review: "I'm bad!" [srsly]

I’m normally a nice guy. Almost anyone that knows me

would completely agree with that statement. I think.

Anyway, that’s all irrelevant! Every now and then, along

comes a game that is so unintentionally awful that it’s 

actually more memorable than many good games. Bad

Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja is one of those games. 

First and foremost, anyone designing a game should take note

of this: If you are planning on making a generic game the fits 

firmly in every single cliché of the genre, do not have your

main characters yell a phrase after every level that just reminds

you of how terrible the game is that you’re playing. In Bad Dudes,

you can’t just settle for being the baddest dude around, you have

to remind anyone anywhere near you constantly. “I’m bad!” has

become a mantra that every generic mascot game followed back

the 90’s. Remember Bubsy or Captain Novolin? I didn’t think so. 

The storyline in the game is probably the most epic that I’ve ever

seen. It’s one of those things that I’m shocked they didn’t try to

bring back after 9-11 (there was Fugitive Hunter, but that’s different).

At the beginning of the game, after you muster up the courage to

drop a quarter in the machine, you are treated to a generic bad ass

sergeant that gives you everything you need to know to single

handedly take out a clan of ninja with your fist: President Ronnie has

been kidnapped by ninjas! Are you a bad enough dude to rescue him?!

I regret to inform you that… yes… I was a bad enough dude. 

I’ve finished this game several times, simply because of how funny

it is. I was unaware that New York City suffered from a ninja problem

back in the 90’s, but I wasn’t really into world politics back then, so

anything is possible. I also didn’t know that there were turtles that 

lived in sewers around that area that were fluent in English, excellent

fighters, and led by a gigantic mutated rat. The world sure has changed

huh? Anyway, it’s amazing that there are so many ninjas in that area

and you are able to defeat ANY of them with a fist to the face. 

You’ll find yourself battling your way through plenty of environments

as well that all flow together seamlessly. From the rooftops of buses, to

the sewer system, to a forest (wait..what?), prepare to be amazed. There’s

something else that needs to be noted about the forest level: About halfway

through, some flaming guy pops out of nowhere and runs across the screen, 

then runs off. I guess that symbolizes the developers trying to hide the

sexual tension between the two protagonists. 

Which raises another topic of discussion: what the hell is wrong with your

characters? These are probably the two blandest characters I’ve ever

seen, standing right beside the pallet swapped ninjas in Mortal Kombat. 

First off, they’re wearing these shoes that I’m assuming are supposed to

be designers, beige slacks, and the best part: wifebeaters. Not that I 

condone violence, but by the end of the game, you just might want feel

like going out and beating the hell out of someone for playing all the 

way through it. 

The one upside to the game is the awesome ending. After fighting your

way through scene after scene of enemies, you finally manage to rescue

the president. Unfortunately, he’s not a woman, so you don’t even get

a rewarding kiss from your long and arduous journey. Instead, he

offers you something more rewarding than the love of any woman could

ever be: “Hey dudes thanks for rescuing me. Lets go for a burger!”

I was never able to establish if he was mocking you for finishing the game

or not, but if he’s laughing in the face of danger AND offering a burger,

THAT’S the kind of man we need to lead our country! Just because 

of that last image, I have to give this game a 10/10. If it wasn’t for that

the score would drop to a 2. I might be being too generous there. Maybe

it’s a 1. I don’t know. Whatever you do, stay far away from that game. 

The first and last images in the game are all you need to have played

through it. 

Castle Crashers Review

It seems like it was ages ago when Castle Crashers was

supposed to see the light of day. I remember how excited

I was, yet somewhat hesitant to play this new game from

Dan Paladin, the creator of Alien Hominid. Every time it

was shown at a press event, it was met with critical acclaim

but for some reason, it always got delayed and pushed

further and further away. Well, with the game now

available on XBLA, I can comfortably say that the wait

was totally worth it. 

Castle Crashers is one of those games that, on paper,

sounds extremely cliched and somewhat boring, but its

execution is unparalled by any other titles that have been

released. At it's heart, all the game really is is a a simple

beat-em-up, in the vein of Streets of Rage, Final Fight,

or Double Dragon, but what it does is what makes it stand

out. The gameplay feels extremely solid, allowing the player

to actually improve in gameplay to the point where they

can make it through entire levels without taking any

damage, something that can't be said for many other games

in the same genre. The graphics are done in that same

style as Alien Hominid, his previous gaming endeavor. Just

like the game preceding it, it's easy to fall in love with the 

adorable, if vicious characters and enemies you encounter.

Just like any good sidescrolling game like this, there are three

main buttons you focus on. Hit. Hit harder. Jump away. Is there

anything else you need? Why, in fact...THERE IS! Instead

of ending there with just the basics, the game has a blocking

mechanic, an inventory that you can go through on the fly by

tapping the bumpers, and even a magic system. Another 

unique take on the genre is that instead of just going through

the levels in a linear fashion, you are able to increase your characters

stats as you level up from fighting enemies. Another bonus is that

instead of just stopping at two players, the game is four players,

with four characters availible from the start and many more are 

unlockable as you progress through the story. Just in case you

feel lonely, you are also able to find different pets, each with their own

unique abilities. Some assist you by helping you find items, others

boost stats, others even help you fight, even though they aren't the

most damaging things. 

The environments are extremely varied, and it's cute to see that

they implemented some of gamings cliches and embrace them

instead of trying to cleverly hide them. Boss fights? Check.

Ice world and Lava world? Check. Fighting teammates to the 

death for the love a woman? Check. It's all here, folks, and it's 

all done flawlessly. The fact that the game was rendered with

HD in mind really does help the characters stand out, looking 

incredibly vivid and it also breathes life into the environment.

Castle Crashers offers a few additional features that help

ensure that you get the most out of your money. One

of the things that's incredibly important for a title like this is

yes, it does have online multiplayer. Fully fleshed out at that.

You are able to go through the entire single player game with

friends or strangers, bringing your own character into the fray,

and the best part of all is that any money, items, pets, or experience

gained online is kept and allowed to be used offline as well, so

you don't have to worry about making separate characters. There's

also the offline four player, which is a feature many games are lacking

nowadays. 

In short, the game is long enough to keep you engaged, has

enough depth to keep you coming back for more, and 

is simple enough that you could play it with your family.

The humor will have you smiling throughout, and the imaginitive

environments will keep you coming back for more. All in all, I'd give

this game a solid 9/10. Once the few online issues there are are 

hammered out, there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't have

this in your collection.

Mr. Flibble Interview by LoC

Just a few days after Liz did her interview with Solitary Seraph, I present you an interview with Kit!

Much like Liz's interview, this has been broken down into different sections for easier reading.

General Information:

LoC: first of all, I would like
to start this interview off by saying hello to all the readers
out there. How are you doing today Kit?

Kit: I'm doing great!

LoC: Awesome! Same with me for the most part. First off let me ask you a few general questions.To start what is your name, and who are you on FKR?

Kit: Well my name is Chris, although
people who know me call me Kit, and my FKR username is Mr. Flibble.

LoC: well, nice to have you
here Kit! Can you tell me a little more about yourself,
and favorite hobbies,music etc.?

Kit: About me, I'm an A-level student,
17 years old and I live in the Wirral, part of the UK. My music tastes are kind of
varied, but I enjoy various metal artists like Sonata Arctica,
Machinae Supremacy and Finntroll. As for hobbies, just video games mainly.

LoC: so, any favorite games or genres? what about systems?

Kit: Heh, no genres in particular but I can name some games. Call of Duty 4, Team Fortress 2,
Bomberman LIVE and Counter Strike: Source are some examples, but there are others too. As for systems, I play my 360 and DS the most right now, but the PS1 had some brilliant
games so I'll mention that too.

LoC: Any favorite game series, and are you into RPG's at all?

Kit: Sure, I like certain Final Fantasy games, Earthbound, Neverwinter Nights and Elder Scrolls
IV: Oblivion. Some of my favourite series are Call of Duty, Timesplitters and Ace Attorney.

LoC: Ahh awesomeness,Phoenix Wright&Earthbound!

FKR&Fanzine Questions:

LoC: how did you first find Fallen Knights Refuge, and how much are you enjoying
your stay here?

Kit: I found FKR when a certain someone said join or die. Despite this, the forum's fun. It's
got a nice community and the forum itself has some good features. (That wasn't a plug, honestly)

Kit: I'm kidding about the worrying stuff, of course. The forum's nice.

LoC: so what are your favorite parts bout FKR? Any favorite members or topics?

Kit: Not sure, to be honest. I like the userbase, but mostly because I know a large proportion of
the members. (SHOUT OUT TO YOU GUYS WOO). Not sure about particular topics, though.

Kit: Probably the threads about various games (Like the Indie Gaming Thread.)

LoC: Nice answers!

LoC: they saw me trollin, they...oh right! The interview. Anyway, where was I?

LoC: ahh yeah, the Fanzine. How are you liking the Fanzine so far? Are you a regular
reader? any particular favorite articles or reviews yet?

Kit: Well, I didn't really take a good look until a few days ago. I've read a few things so far, but
not a lot. I don't think I should say a favourite until I've read more.

LoC: Any plans to contribute to the Fanzine in some way?(I hope lol)

Kit: I'm not a writer, so I doubt I could add anything good, but I'm sure I could find some way to
help. But I'll also make sure to come on every so often to read some stuff, since it should be a good read.

LoC: glad to hear it, and I bet I could find ways for you to contribute as well in some
capacity.

Kit: Uh oh, I may have to work! lol

LoC: lol, i'll work you into the ground! Err, I mean I may have you do short articles or something, like Top 10 lists or someting like that, so nothing too taxing lol

LoC: Anyway, one last FKR related question: what do you think is the forums biggest
flaw, and how do you think it can be fixed?

Kit: It's hard to say, but I guess it could have more members, as long as they aren't dicks or anything.

LoC: yeah, expansion is always a goal...but we want to keep the idiots and assholes out.

LoC: so, what are your thoughts on FKR's staff including the recently promoted
Solitary Seraph?

Kit: They're nice and do the forum good, as for SS, I don't know him very well personally, but
I'm sure that if you guys think he'll do some good work, he will. OR ELSE!

LoC: he know's that i'd whoop his arse to give less than his best! Anyway are there any additions
or changes which may make FKR or the Fanzine better?

Kit: Needs more me! I'm kidding, I can't really think of anything really significant.

LoC: Well I guess that about wraps things up then. Thanks again for the interview, and maybe we'll do another one sometime!

Kit: Thanks, any time!

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed Review by LoC

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Review By LoC


Alright, so I had been meaning to write this review for a number of days now. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed was a novel that I had bought on Tuesday morning and had finished reading by Wednesday night. Should any of you care, I bought the hard-cover edition, and had a pretty sizable 40% discount off the purchase price! So anyway, The Force Unleashed is a book based on the game of the same name. Despite this, I actually think the book came out a month before the game! The book tells the story of Darth Vader's secret apprentice known as Starkiller whom even the Emperor himself does not know about. Being raised by Vader since a small child, he has spent most of his life embracing the darkside and Vader's teachings. As the book begins, Darth Vader sends Starkiller out on his first real challenge of defeating a Jedi. Eventually however a major event occurs which changes Starkiller's life forever. The book is very well written, although it almost feels too brief in a way. As far as I know, most of the details in this book also happen in the game, but I have yet to play the game myself to verify it. This book is simply a must for any Star Wars fan, even those whom have already played the game. Many events are elaborated on, which were only briefly touched in the game. The force has indeed been unleashed, and this book(and game) will change the way we look at Star Wars and what we thought we knew forever.
(to be edited and revised)

- LoC

My FIFA 09 demo impressions <3

   First off, the FIFA 09 demo has been on Xbox Live and PSN for a few days.

In terms of my reaction, it seems that the series is continuing to finally

establish a solid posistioning against the Winning Eleven/PES franchise
that had held the title of King of Football for so many years.

   Personally, I've always been a closet fan of Football, definitely 

moreso than it's american counterpart. I spent ages looking for a game

that managed to recapture the thrill of sprinting up the pitch, recieving that

perfect pass, juking a defender, then passing the ball to a teammate thats

open for the one phenomenal goal, but the video game depictions of the sport

always left more to be desired. First, I should go ahead and say that I

was never really a fan of the Winning Eleven franchise and the last FIFA

game I invested any serious time with was 2001 (aside from 08). Before that...

I think my gaming experiences boiled down to Megaman Soccer and

International Online Soccer for Half Life (high recommended for anyone looking for a different experience with their first person shooters). Last year, thanks to Xbox Live, I discovered a charming title called Sensible World Of Soccer that does a fantastic job of forcing the players to invest time to actually get even remotely decent with it, but as you can see...neither EA nor Konami had released anything worth my attention.

   All of that changed in 2007. I finally decided to try out Winning Eleven for the first time in years since I played one of the PS2 versions at a friends house, so I checked out the demo, which still didn't do it for me. After seeing how EA revitalized the stagnant NBA and NFL genres in 2003 and 2004 with their trick stick ideas, I was always wondering how long it would be until a company used for Football. Finally, after all those years of waiting, my dream came true! EA

released FIFA 08, which had a massive graphical overhaul and started allowing players to use the right analog to perform various skills on the pitch, but it took some serious investment of time to learn them all, not to mention actually utilizing them to any degree of success. The framerate was increased to help make the overall experience feel more smooth, only occasionally dropping during victory celebrations and pre-game animations, but each stadium felt truly unique. So, knowing how EA is, when I heard about the inevitable FIFA 09, I was worried that they were just going to ship out the same game again without any useful changes. It is with great joy that I can say that I wasn't completely right on that.

   The most significant tweak EA is adding to all of their 09 sports titles is dynamic stat tracking, which means that if any team or player performs different throughout the course of a week, you will be able to download those statistics which could have a dramatic alteration on how they play out in game, for better or for worse. This marks the first time that they are actually staying up to date on a weekly basis with real world statistics, so it will be interesting to see how that plays out. 

   Next up, when you start up the game, it still drops you off in on a field in control of Ronaldinho alone to practice the controls, but there are also tutorials that pop up along the top of the screen so you don't have to discover how complicated it is to do a rainbow kick on your own (<3).>

-Bobhead

Solitary Seraph Interview, by The Liztress

The first ever interview for the FK Fanzine! I, Liz, interviewed one of our members. Here's how it went. I broke the interview up into parts, and did omit a little bit of fluff.

General Information-
Liz: First off, could you please tell me your name and who you are on FKR?
Sean: I'm Sean, Solitary Seraph on FKR.
Liz: So, can you tell us more about yourself?
Sean: I'm 22, I'm 6'3, I get dressed in a certain order, I wash my hands more times than is probably healthy, and I enjoy posting with friends.
Liz: Well, would you like to tell everyone what kind of music, games, and movies you like?
Sean: I'm mostly an RPG whore, I listen to metal of all types and 80s/90s pop rock, and I love horror movies.
Liz: Any favorites you have?
Sean: My favorite series are the Suikoden, Earthbound, and Breath of Fire series, my favorite horror movie is Halloween for it's spectacular use of suspense, and my favorite band at the moment is...um...too hard to decide at the moment!
Liz: You like The Jonas Brothers, don't you?
Sean: Who's that?
Liz: Umm, they are the Jonas brothers.
Liz: They are from Disney.
Sean: no idea.
Liz: Ah, well... Forget about them then.

Fallen Knights Refuge and the Fallen Knights Fanzine-
Liz: How did you find FKR?
Sean: I got bullied into joining by Gra-I made a deal with him. He posts on Anfiniti and I post on FKR.
Liz: How are you enjoying your time on FKR?
Sean: It's been pretty fun, especially talking to people. It's much more relaxing than Grave makes it out to be, and some of the people I already knew and some of them are friendly. Then there's kiwi...
Liz: Kiwi? You have a problem with the fruit?
Sean: Not at all, it was for dramatic groundhog effect.
Liz: Ah, do you think FKR is destined to be the next hippest place to post?
Sean: It will be second only to anfiniti in terms of hip, flip, and radicalness.
Liz: Do you feel like the staff at FKR does a good job? Or they need room for improvement?
Sean: I think they do a great job moderating, especially since they are the bulk of the posts. probably they should start inviting friends, but that's the only thing I can think of.
Liz: What do you feel about the Fanzine?
Sean: I think that a lot of the articles need to be longer, but that it's a great start.
Liz: What is your favotire thing about FKR? Is it a thread, forum, game, or member?
Sean: There's too much to enjoy about FKR to sit there and go "Well, X is my favorite thing."
Liz: Could name a couple things you like on FKR?
Sean: I like the FKR game, the Indie Gaming Thread, and how interested it seems in how everyone is, with threads ilke "What made you happy" "What pissed you off" "post here before going offline"
Liz: Are there things that you don't like on FKR?
Sean: KIIIIWIIIII
Sean: No, not really, there isn't anything I could say I didnt like.

The FKR Game story-
Liz: Do you think the gang will ever make it out of the game in the FKR game?
Sean: Sure, once they starve
Liz: Do you think Amber will stay with Grave? Or will he scare her off?
Sean: She's still with him?
Liz: Last we heard, yeah.
Sean: its a new record!
Liz: Does Grave have a record?
Sean: a record of suck
Liz: What did you think of Oda Yami?
Sean: Oda Yami scares me
Liz: Do you think Wiki is dead? Or did Grave mess up his attack on him?
Sean: Wiki cant die
Liz: Is he immortal?
Sean: no, Grave just screwed up and gave him reraise!
Liz: Ah.

His thoughts about Grave-
Liz: How did you meet Grave, or LoC on FKR?
Sean: he was brought to Anfiniti by a mutual friend, Kyuuketsuki. Then he disappeared after spam whoring, then returned after I accidently deleted his account (along with 300 others ;-; ) to bitch, and has stayed since
Liz: Spam whoring? Are we talking about the same person?
Sean: Post whoring*
Liz: What do you have to say about your induction into the FKR staff? Do you think it will be temporary or do you hope it's permanent?
Sean: I think for now it'll be temporary, because FKR doesnt really need any more staff, but once it grows I hope it will be temporary.
Liz: So, no matter what, you hope it was only temporary?
Sean: I think for now it'll be temporary, because FKR doesnt really need any more staff, but once it grows I hope it will be temporary permanent.
Liz: Oh, ok.
Liz: Have you ever seen a picture of Grave? And did you know he's considered a mythical creature because no one has seen him?
Sean: I have. There was a picture of him in the mall that was posted.
Liz: Was it on a milk carton?
Sean: Nope. Would you like to see it?
Liz: Yes please
Sean: http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/7848/gravenw4.jpg
Liz: No way...
Sean: srs
Liz: He looks pretty in pink
Liz: How did you get that picture?
Sean: google
Sean: >_>
Liz: lmao
Liz: Well, I guess this is all I can think of asking, besides how does it make you feel that Grave loves your typing?
Liz: That it is a guilty pleasure of his.
Sean: whatever floats his boat, as long as he doesnt try to slow ride me
Liz: But a fast ride is ok?
Sean: only with you baby :*
Liz: You do know that will be included in the interview posted.
Sean: *coughs*
Liz: Well, thanks for answering my questions.
Sean: No problem. :p

This has been an interview by The Liztress. Hope you all enjoyed it and please comment! And if you want to be interviewed, let me or Grave know and we will set up an interview with you.

Mailbag Debut

Hello. This is the section where we'll answer mail from our readers. I'm Frank, and I'll be doing this installment.


Dear Frank,
My girlfriend just left me for another guy. We had been together for half a year now, and she just up and left one day without any particularly noticeable warning signs before. What went wrong?
-Anonymous

To best answer this question, I thought it appropriate to give you a small anecdote from my personal experiences. So I'm with my girlfriend one night and we start fooling around. Things really start heating up when suddenly, she stops and says "I can't do this", leaving before I could ask why. I later learn through a mutual friend that she had secretly been infuriated about how I had traded her purebred german shepherd, raised by herself since it was a puppy, for a six-pack of beer.

Women can be so touchy sometimes.


Dear Frank,
I just got a promotion from toilet cleaner to corporate CEO. How do you explain such a drastic change in job?
Yours Truly,
President Crapper Scrubber

First off, let me say you must've given your former boss amazing sex, likely involving plungers. Now, what a lot of people don't realize is that all CEOs' ultimate goal is to become poop purging specialists. There's something satisfying about liquidating that 5-year-old urine stain with a dab of Lysol. Basically, you actually got demoted. Sorry you had to learn about it from an internet magazine.

Dear Frank,
How did you become so wise anyway? Any tips for how I can gain this same wisdom?
Sincerely,
Your prospective protégé

I'm not one to divulge such secrets so easily, but to start you off I will say that it involves years of meditation, honing your spiritual intuition, and Conan O'Brien reruns. Maybe forget the first two, actually. In fact, forget anything ever existed and delete your harddrive.

Poli rants: Palin, gods will, and stupid Americans.

I will start this out by saying how horrified I am. I am scared to death of Governor Palin. I am almost as horrified as I was when Huckabee was in the lead. Palin is a fucking nut job. If the GOP wins, McCain has already outlived the life expectancy of the average male male, and Palin could easily come into power, and may sit in one of the most powerful positions possible.

There are a few things about her that make me fear her, the main one being her political view on religion and God. She has stated that she will make it her goal to see that America carries out gods plan. First, to be insane enough to think that you know what gods plan is, is completely ludicrous. But that aside, when people act in the name of god, they are capable of doing anything. People crash planes into buildings, people blow themselves up, people go on campaigns of murder, rape, and destruction, when acting in the name of god. When god is in the mix, morals and ethics go out the window, people loose all sense of a conscious. When they are acting in the name of god, when they truly believe this, they are always in the right, and no matter how big of an atrocity they commit, it will be justified in their opinion.

What is to stop us from invading the rest of the middle east? There are enough of stupid Americans out there that if led by a firm nut, they could be coaxed into going along with almost anything. We could very easily find ourselves in Iran. That would most likely mean a new draft to support this war. As outrageous as it seems, congress has not always made the best decisions. Congress is not who we can rely on to keep us out of wars. Congress is in the pockets of the same people who have the executive branch in their pockets. This however, is a rant for a different day.

What is it about Palin that people like? She has not one trait, in my opinion, that makes her seem fit for the job. She is against birth control, pro life, against pre marital sex, and thus, she stands against sanity. She lets religion control her policy, and that is fucking scary.



Thank you for reading the first article I have ever written, this is Poli Ranter, and this is my Palin political rant. ^_^

Mainstream Rap Music

Mainstream Rap Rant
by Crazy K

So let's talk about mainstream Rap music, or hip-hop, or whatever the hell you like to call it. I have a simple question for you all viewing this blog. Why do you listen to mainstream rap music if you do at all? What about it makes you enjoy it so much?

To me, modern radio rap , or anything associated with it, usually is crap; I mean who's so lazy, that they have to make up fake words to rhyme with real ones? I just don't understand how someone can listen to such un-talented crap. I'm not saying all rap is shitty, I'm sure there are plenty of old-school and underground rappers who can at least formulate a real rhyme with a catchy tune, but what the hell happened to popular rap these days?

Another thing that pisses me off, why the hell is Lil Wayne considered the best rapper today? Are you kidding me? Have you heard him rap? Wow, seriously he sounds like someone stuck a pipe up his ass. He screeches whenever he raps, it's like going to an Opera show, but this show has no talent. Come on now guys, listen to someone who can at least rap,rhyme well, or something. Now let's speak of the VMA's. Yes I watched it sadly. And I heard Lil Wayne try to have a duet with Kid Rock (of all people right?) and oh my does he suck. You know what? I seriously believe I could do a better job at rapping than him, but Wow!

Here's a video of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY_RUKCQxJs

Anyways, that's enough about Lil Wayne.

Alright, back to the subject at hand. Please people, try to listen to the lyrics, and the vocals. When you say someones good, at least try to prove to us all. Because when you buy their album, it only shows to us that you think they're really good at what they do; I mean, how can someone like Lil Wayne (lol) sell so many albums? You'd expect someone with talent to sell so many albums? Right? I guess not, since so many seem to love talentless douches like Lil Wayne, 50 Cent, T.I., and so on. At least have a good style and catchy lyrics and beats to keep people interested, otherwise the only people you're interesting are a bunch of uneducated kids who are too easily amused.

lol END RANT.

Oh, and Kanye West is over-rated and a whiny bitch too.

Pretty. Odd. Review, by The Liztress

Pretty. Odd.
Panic at the Disco
Fueled By Ramen

This is the second album released by Panic at the Disco. It came out on March 25, 2008 and falls under the Alternative rock, Baroque pop, and psychedelic rock genres. Consisting of 15 songs on it's track (and 3 extra bonus tracks which are remixes of songs on the main tracklist), each song has a different sound to it. In fact, the album sounds a lot different from the first one A Fever You Can't Sweat Out. Some fans looked at this as a bad thing becuase they loved the unique beats Fever had and were afraid of the band changing how they sound but PatD make We're So Straving available on their website and MySpace page before the release date, a song that addressed their concerned fans, saying "You don't have to worry..." I know a lot of people aren't a fan of their music and they have been labeled as an emo band, but I think this album is well performed and is, by far, a cut above their first album. I also don't consider them to be emo as they don't sing about things I would stereotype emo bands to sing. Its light sounds and catchy beats are good for those who like music that was done by bands like the Beatles. In fact, the Beatles were an inspiration for the group. It's a little hard for me to really say how I feel about this album and why I think everyone should listen to it because of how different people's tastes are. I love this album and the band. I do think everyone should at least listen to some of their songs, especially if you were a fan of the Beatles. If I was to give this album a rating, I'd go with 4/5.

The Forbidden Kingdom review

Last night I decided to watch The Forbidden Kingdom. I was expecting a sub par film, but it actually turned out pretty good. It was nothing impressive, but the film kept my interest. Anyways the film is about a young boy, who is brought to a different dimension to bring back a staff to the rightful owner. Jet Li plays the Monkey King (who the young boy must return the staff to), as well as a monk who himself tries to bring the staff back to the rightful owner. Jackie Chan plays a drunk, who encounters the boy. I really don't want to spoil it for the people who want to see it, so I won't say anything else about the film.

But yeah I really enjoyed it. It had enough action, maybe a little too much, but oh well. If you're a fan of anything to do with Martial arts, or fighting, than you might like this film.

I honestly have no idea of what I should rate this film, maybe a 6/10. That seems pretty plausible.

Fanzine Update Report 9-10-08

Although I only opened this Fanzine blog a mere 3 days ago, it seems to be moving along fairly briskly so far. We already have a number of reviews,articles, and stories up for your reading pleasure, and quite a few more coming your way soon. You may also have noticed that we now have six contributers on staff including myself, and there should be a few others joining us shortly. While I haven't been able to figure out exactly how big our reader base is yet, the feedback we have received so far has been largely positive. We would like to take this time to thank everyone who has been reading the Fanzine, and to those whom have offered us feedback or suggestions. We hope that you continue checking back here, and be sure to tell your friends about us! We are only just getting warmed up, and the best is yet to come!

LoC, - Editor and Chief Fallen Knights Fanzine

Notrium review by Kiwi

Greetings from the alien hell hole called Notrium! Notrium is a freeware game created by Ville Monkkonen. You view things from a top down perspective and the best description is a survival adventure game. You try to maintain your body temperature, such as not running around the desert in the middle of the day, keeping yourself fed, and, of course, fighting off the various things trying to kill you. You do this by picking up whatever you can find and combining it with other random things and using whatever comes out of it to assist you in your fight to survive and eventually get off the planet.

You can play as 4 different races: Human, Android, Alien, or Psionic. Each one is played differently; well the Human and Android have play similar in some ways but different enough. The Human and Android rely the most on finding random bits and combination. The Alien hunts and evolves by being well-fed and killing. The Psionic can carry nothing but the psionic tokens he has but can combine them to create various abilities. Towards the end of the game the Human and Android come out with big guns and armor and such, the Alien is leading an army of aliens, that it gave birth to, and the Psionic is creating duplicates of itself and other fun things. A good amount of fun comes from experimentation with the random things you find. Make no mistake though, this game will not be that easy your first play though, unless you play on easy which eliminates body temperature. The game is very replayable, with the areas and items being randomly placed.

One of the things that Kiwi loves about this game is how easy it is to mod this game. The data files are quite easy to understand, at least compared to other games. It comes with an easy to use map editor as well. With a few minutes in the data files you can create a brand new item or weapon. There are also a couple good mods floating around for this game if you enjoyed it. Though you should try to complete the game at least once before you go into that.

Story is not a huge focus of the game. The basic story is that you are on an explorer ship (your role depends on what your race is), and you come across a planet that appears to have a lost civilization! However, soon after your ship is ripped apart by missiles and your escape pod heads and crashes on the planet, Notrium. You can find out more about the character your playing by reading journal entries as they come up. Journal entries will also give you details about items you pick up and will give you some possible combination and other useful hints. The game doesn't really have anything in the way of the an instruction manual so journal entries and experimentation are your best bet. The game has multiple endings so you'll have to play through a few times to see all of them, or at least, load a saved game a couple times.

The graphics are not really amazing, but it's a freeware game, what do you want? Next-gen graphics? The sounds are decent, background sounds in particular are noteworthy, but the music is lacking.

Overall, Kiwi would definitely recommend this game to anyone, unless you have something against the setting or type of game it is. Kiwi first picked this game up 4 or 5 years ago, and he still comes back to it.

Here's the link to the game's web page:
Notrium Site

Pros:
-Great game play
-multiple characters
-Easily modified
-Legally free
-The game's files are small and it has low system requirements (the install file is 10 MB if Kiwi remembers right)

Cons:
-It does have some bugs
-Poor music
-Can be a bit unfriendly to new players
-Some important items can be nearly impossible to find

NOTE: These screenshots are from a modified version of the game, as Kiwi has nothing else on hand.



Crash survivors are very popular among the robot crowds.



Anybody interested in some fried alien? Kiwi's got plenty.


You're always welcome at Kiwi's house. Unless you're a bad guy or a commie.

The Battle for Wesnoth; Possibly the greatest free game out there

So, a few weeks ago a friend of mine had turned me on to an open source game he found on the internet called "The Battle for Wesnoth".. I didn't look into it right away, but after my 360 died (again...) I decided to give it a try hoping it would help me burn some time, and now after spending some time with it and playing a few games online with my pals, I've come to the conclusion that it could possibly be the greatest free game on the internet. You see, this isn't like those other "free" games on the internet that say they're free but to really enjoy the full game you still have to shell out like 10 dollars a month, they're just trials, really. This game is 100% free and not only that, but it is constantly receiving updates from the developers AND the player community thanks to the editor! You can make custom maps, single-player scenarios and more with the editor, and no, the editor doesn't cost you any money to get! It's included in the download when you get the game, another plus for this already impressive game.

So, on to the actual game - Wesnoth is a turn based strategy game (from here on out referred to as TBS), based in a typical fantasy world. The world is populated by all the usual fantasy creatures, elves, orcs, goblins, dragons, and so on, all using swords, spears, magic, bows, etc. The game plays pretty much like other TBS games, and was apparently based on the old Sega Genesis games "Master of Monsters" and "Warsong/Langrisser". It is very straight-forward and has simple rules to follow, but remains challenging and enjoyable to even seasoned TBS veterans. It's also a great entry point for TBS novices considering how simple the rules are, so if you've been trying to get a pal into playing these games with you, then maybe tell them to give this one a chance.

So in this game each player takes turns managing their army, you'll probably start the game spawning all the units you feel are appropriate against your enemies. Each unit costs around 15 gold on average, and they all typically specialize in either melee or ranged combat, some are balanced between each type, however. Melee combat is the more common of the two, almost every unit sports some kind of melee combat, even if it's just a simple sidearm like a dagger or a mage's staff. So no matter what, if you're going to fight with melee you'll more than likely have to put up with a counter attack. Sadly, there is no true "ranged" combat (that is, attacking from two or three hexes away), for ranged attacks you'll need to be up and close too. They have the benefit, however, of not having to put up with the counter attacks as often since not all units have a ranged weapon to fire back with. All units have have their weaknesses, most are pretty straight-forward like how horses are weak to "pierce" attacks (spears, arrows), as are the drakes. Some are resistant to certain attack types, as well. Heavily armored units are often strong against "blade" attacks but take more damage from "impact" attacks (mace, hammer). You can easily check these by clicking on the unit and selecting "Unit Description" or simply press "d". The object of the game is to kill the enemy leader, which is selected at the beginning of each match and can be identified by a crown symbol above it's head. Aside from this game type, there is also a very fun "Survival" variant, in which you must survive ongoing hordes of enemies. It starts out rather slow, but as the game goes on the waves get bigger and stronger, and it gets very intense.

Another interesting feature of the game is the use of the clock cycle. I think it's very cool, and adds some great potential for attack plans and so on. At certain times of the day, certain units will become strengthened. This depends on their alignment, "chaotic" units, like orcs and ghouls, will become stronger at night, and as far as I know, their accuracy increases as well. "Loyal" units like the horsemen and white mages are stronger when day breaks, and "neutral" have balanced power during both times of day, they don't strengthen or weaken at any time.


So I'll leave the rest for you to find out on your own, this is merely to try to catch your interest. If you think it sounds like a game you would enjoy then check it out at "Wesnoth.org".

-- Pansy

Persona 3 Review(by The Liztress)

Persona 3 Review
by The Liztress

Quick Review-

Sound- A-
Graphics- B
Enjoyment Factor- A
Replay Factor- B
Battle System- B+
Overall- B+


Full Review-

Sound- Sure the music isn't as grand as you find in most RPGs like the Final Fantasy series or Zelda series but the music doesn't take away from this game. In fact, I feel like it adds to it. When something good is happening in the game, the music is upbeat. When you have a gloomy experience, the music has a soft sound and you can hear the sadness in it. Not many people are a fan of the JPOP genre, and this game has a few songs that are classified as such. But I think the songs fit it nicely.

Graphics- It's not very high end graphics and Altus doesn't try to make the people or anything look real. Instead, they try to stay faithful with the anime cutscenes that are in the game. And while I am fine with this choice, the anime isn't the best I have seen and the characters and enemies aren't as detailed as I might like. But I give credit to the Persona Compendium as it has the most detailed images. I'm not complaining about the lack of detail as I'm more for storylines and a decent battle system but I do feel that on some cases the anime cutscenes could have been done better.

Enjoyment Factor- As a fan of the Persona series and RPGs in general, I really enjoyed playing this game. There were times when I didn't want to put the controller down and turn the game off just so I could sleep. I think for anyone who enjoys a good RPG that isn't done like most out there, this one is worth trying. I've had my moments where I wanted to throw the controller down, mainly trying to get all the heart items from Messiah, but more often than not it continued to hold my interest. The characters weren't so outlandish and I admit a few I neglected using due to my inability to like them. But I did really get into the storyline and key moments made me sad. The social links add to mix with a sort of "dating sim" minigame. Your reward for choosing the right responses and spending time with your friends is a special item. One that allows you to create the highest level Persona of the Arcana.

Replay Factor- The only reasons, outside of just playing it for the fun of it, to replay this game would be to complete the Compendium, max out all of the social links, and of course... The Optional boss only available for the second playthrough. But, besides the optional boss, the rest can be done in the first playthrough. Granted if you do decide to complete all available requests and max out the social links your first time through, you might still want to pick this game back up and play it again. On your second cycle, you do keep your levels, max social link items, Yen, all the Personas you have registered in the Compendium, and equipment. But you lose all consumable items and your teammates start back on level one. But that don't mean you should fret. With the level you beat the game at, you'll have no problems with the shadows.

Battle System- Ok, this part, for me, makes or breaks if I truly want to play a game. Controls are simple and if you know the enemies weakness, you can exploit it so they never get the chance to attack. When you "knock down" an enemy, It means you either found the weakness or you did a critical hit. Also, if you knock down the whole enemy party, you can perform an "All Out Attack". Basically, you and your party members all gang up on the downed enemies and do a good deal of damage. But knocking down an enemy also grants you the ability to use another turn. Mind you, the "1 more turn" applies to the enemies as well. And if you meet special conditions during a fight, you are rewarded with the option to choose a card. You only know what kind of card you can get if you pay good attention to how they are shuffled. You get anyting from weapons to Persona, with bonus experience and getting healed as well. As for controlling your party, you are limited in that. You can command them to heal or go all out. Or you can have them conserve SP depending on your style.

Overall- Alright, here's my final opinion on Persona 3. I do feel like it was deserving of being in the running for 2007's Game of the Year. But since Atlus released Persona 3: FES at a cheaper price, I do advise buying it over this as you are getting the same gaming experience with a few bonuses. I do think some things could have been tweaked. And the different blocks were designed nicely, but one was too dark for to really noticed the monsters to do a surprise attack. But yeah, I think it was worth the 90+ hours I spent on the game.

Metallica - My Apocalypse Review

Metallica - My Apocalypse
by LoC

So if you haven't heard, Metallica put up the complete song "My Apocalypse" for streamed listening, and I listened to the song twice yesterday and will share my thoughts on it. The first thing I would like to state is that it was surprisingly kinda okay. The song was definitely more metal oriented than anything Metallica has done in a long time, although it still can't touch any of the 80's albums. James Hetfield's vocals are better than on St. Anger, but they are still pretty terrible. He seems to be TRYING to sound like he used to, but he ruined his vocals on the black album tour as you may have heard, and well...he still hasn't recovered and it's painfully obvious. The song is fairly fast paced and almost thrashy, but only in a shallow surface kind of way. This song is no classic, but it's also completely listenable which is more than I could say for St. Anger. Any Metallica fans should give this song a listen and see what you think, but don't expect any kind of new classic here. Regardless of flaws, this song is better than anything Metallica has done in well over a decade. Stream it from Metallica's site and see what you think, but it looks like Metallica's newest album may not be entirely terrible after all.

The Dark Knight review

I know this review is a bit late, especially since I seen the film on opening day, but I felt the need to post a review anyways.

Let's get down to business. How good was this film? Well, honestly, it had to be the best film of the year. Sorry Iron Man. The film was just perfect. Heath Ledger portrayed a crazy Joker, which was truly the highlight of the film. Christian Bale still did a wonderful job as Batman, but everyone hated the new growl voice; I actually didn't mind it all too much. And I must not forget about Aaron Eckhart's performance as Harvey "Two Face" Dent. It was just awesome.

Anyways, the film was full of exciting action. The scene with the semi flipping was spectacular. And it wasn't even done with CGI. The 2.5 hours of film truly doesn't let up. You'll be exposed to action and wit from the Joker and awesomeness from Batman. Here's the thing, it's best that you see this film in theaters, better if you'd see it in an IMAX theater though. So go out and see this film before it is officially done in theaters.

Here's my rating on the film: 10/10

The FKR Story Part 1, by The Liztress

*One night in a dark room, Grave signs online and checks his email

Grave- Hmm... Spam, spam, and "Small penis? Take 3 of these pillz" *clicks to delete the emails* Ah! A new email from Arkas. Wonder what he's got to say...

Arkas' email: Yo Grave! Been playing this new game online. Not as awesome as City of Heroes/City of Villians but still, a free online game that doesn't suck is worth trying. Click the link and join now! I expect to see you on there tonight when I log in. No excuses! You know you have nothing better to do.

Grave- What the hell could it hurt to join? Maybe I'll find some people to join the forum and then I'll be one step closer to ruling the interwebz! Mwhahahahahahahaha*cough* Damn, it's been so long since I've felt the need to laugh like that. I'm rusty.

*Grave goes to the forum and posts a new thread, commanding everyone to join. Then, he goes to the website and begins downloading the game. *3 hours later and a few drinks into the night* Damn... How big is the fucking thing? *Gets an IM*

Wiki- yo grave dude
Grave- yo Wiki
Wiki- im dling tha game you linked to in the forum
Wiki- have u chose who u goin be yet?
Grave- I haven't. Hell, I haven't even read the stuff about it. I just decided to join since AK said it was worth doing.
Wiki- hahaha then u dont kno that by dling it, u gave ur soulz to the game
Grave- Fuck. Damn AK. I wonder if he knew about that.
Grave- Have you talked to anyone else to see if they joined?
Wiki- Yeah talked to lizz
Wiki- before she blocked me she said shes been playing it for awhile now
Grave- I bet she's at a super high level then. I'll have to watch my back around her.
Wiki- nah she complained that som dudes wont let her lvl up
Wiki- but she has tons of gold
Grave- Well... I'm sure she earned that money.
Wiki- lulz its her outfit the guyz have a thread on teh games forum about it
Wiki-yesss the downloads done im off
Wiki- peace grave
Grave- Later Wiki. My download's at 96% so I might as well get ready to play. *closes IM*

*Installs game, boots up and creates a Dark Wizard Lvl. 1 with the name LoC. He begins to go around the small town he was placed in. He recognizes a few names and goes over to them.*


LoC- So... AK, you chose to be a tiny dog man? lmao
AK- Umm, do I know you?
LoC- Arkas? Your damn jokes aren't funny.
AK- Who's Arkas? I'm Tim. And you shouldn't cuss.
LoC- Dude, I'm drunk and if I want to call you a fucking dickweed, I will.
AK- O_O I'm telling my mommy!
*logs out*
LoC- Shit...
Overlord AK- LMAO, Grave dude... You just scared off a kid.
LoC- AK? Seriously is that you?
Overlord AK- SRSLY dude. Bout time you showed up.
Dark Seraph- Hey guys! Did you know there's a damn group thats following this hot female character around?
Overlord AK- lol Yeah. I told them she'll flash them if they constantly follow her.
LoC- Guys. Following a girl... I was told about this already by someone...
Phunky Guy- I told you about it, Grave.
LoC- Who are you?
Phunky Guy- its wiki and that chick is lizz
Overlord AK- I know. That's why I told the guys that. lol
Dark Seraph- Wow... I bet she'll be pissed when she finds out.
Liztress- She is pissed. But she has a plan to get Arkas back.
Overlord AK- I doubt you can do anything.
LoC- Liz! How long have you been playing this game? Wiki said you got a bunch of gold.
Liztress- About 2 months now. I told Arkas about it last week. And yeah, I got some gold. >.>
Dark Seraph- Umm... Liz... Your character's outfit is hawt.
Liztress- Ugh... I know. This is what I get for letting my boyfriend create my character.
Phunky Guy- hes got good taste
Overlord AK- He's dressed her like any guy would want a female to look like... What's your character again?
Liztress- She's a pirate. Don't ask why I chose it but I like the bonus she gets. <3 +3 attack points when fighting sea creatures. I hear a few bosses are tough unless you have a pirate in your party.
LoC- You know, ninjas are better than pirates.
Dark Seraph- Unless they let their boyfriends dress them. lol
Overlord AK- I couldn't get my girl to join. And there's no way in hell I'm going to play dress up.

*A quiet ringing noise gets Grave's attention. He got an in-game email from someone*

LoC- Anyone know how to read the emails on here?
Overlord AK- Didn't you read the site before joining?
LoC- No, but if I did I would have known that I signed my soul away!
Phunky Guy- lolz grave dude
Overlord AK- It don't say that.
Liztress- You really shouldn't believe what Wiki says.
Dark Seraph- Grave, hit CTRL + O to read the message. Chances are it's a mission.
Liztress- Yeah, the "Find a party and try to kill a few monsters" mission.
Overlord AK- That mission sucked. I could only find one person to join my party.
Phunky Guy- admit it AK you liked havin me in ur group
Overlord AK- No. I didn't.
LoC- Yep. It's the mission. And I need 3 party members. Who wants to join me?

~~~~~Character Descriptions

LoC- Lvl. 1 Dark Wizard (looks like the wizard guy off the cell phone commercial, just wearing a darker color robe. Uses a rod.)
Overlord AK- Lvl. 4 Human Gunner (looks like an overly muscled guy in dark green leather jacket and white shirt with black pants. Uses a gun.)
Dark Seraph- Lvl. 2 Dark Elf (is a grey skinned elf wearing black with red trimming. Uses a bow.)
Phunky Guy- Lvl. 1 Beast Thief (is a light brown thief with dog ears. Wears a light red tunic and pants. Uses a small knife.)
Liztress- Lvl. 1 Human Pirate (is *apparently* scantily dressed wearing a white middriff top and brown leather skirt. Uses a rapier.)

Ulver - Shadows Of The Sun Review, by LoC

Ulver - Shadows Of The Sun
Review By LoC

Ulver has never been a band to repeat themselves, even back in their Black Metal phase. This of course continued into their Electronic/Avant-garde phase, with no 2 albums sounding alike, and quite often sounding very different from eachother. Ulver's Shadows Of The Sun continues this trend, and offers listeners an intimate and intensely dark piece of art and music.

This album is quite possibly the darkest one Ulver has done since their Black Metal days, and maybe even darker in some ways. To get a picture of this album, you should imagine yourself in a dark candle-lit room during a rainy night. For even better effect, play this record in said conditions, and you will be blown away. Shadows Of The Sun is as depressing as any Doom Metal album you are likely to hear, but also oddly uplifting in parts.

The music is much more minimal and focused than the often schizophrenic pieces found on 2005's Blood Inside, and the entire album works together to form a cohesive whole.

Picking a standout song or 2 is difficult, as they all are excellent in their own right. Special mention must be made of their cover of Black Sabbath's Solitude which actually outdoes the Sabbath original, while also fitting in seamlessly with the overall mood of this album.

Garm's vocals are as strong and passionate as ever, and Shadows contains some of his strongest performances to date.

Do not go into this album expecting anything like Blood Inside or even anything else by Ulver. To understand the beauty of Shadows Of The Sun, you may need to give this album a number of listens before you can fully appreciate it. This is one of Ulver's best albums ever, and just a beautiful piece of work in general.

Flight of the Conchords, only to last one more season?

Well the news isn't a fact as of yet, but the guys are expressing the idea of ending the show after season 2. Bret McKenzie saying "It would be a fitting end to the series." Both Bret McKenzie, and Jemaine Clement expressed that they were tired of working on the show, especially now that their new season has to deal with all new material, which means it'll be a long work process. They never expected the rock star status, since they are considered a comedy act rather than anything else. It also wasn't easy getting used to all the popularity. In New Zealand they were just a band trying to do their thing, here in the states, they've become uneasy of all of the stardom. Fans really showed their love for FotC, one woman even came on stage to touch Jemaine. I guess you could say FotC are big with the ladies, especially when an unknown fan in the audience screams to the guys "take off your pants".

Anyways the possibility of the show ending after season 2 is still there. Plus this doesn't mean the end of FotC. They could bring out more albums, and possibly go their separate ways into music, movies and television Jemaine Clement will be starring in Gentlemen Broncos, directed by Napoleon Dynamite director Jared Hess. The film is about a Science fiction writer who steals a book idea from a fan. And Bret still has the The Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra of which he created a while back. Plus he has Video Kid, and I'd love to see him bringing out another Video Kid album.

As for a season 3, lets hope. I think a better fitting end, would be to make a feature length film. Why not? Sex and the City did it and so did The X-Files. Anyways I just hope that they reconsider. The idea of a season 3, or even 4 is just awesome.

To check out the article of which this news showed up in, check out WTF! and read up on the front page: http://www.whatthefolk.net/index.htm

Homicide on Sesame Street Part 1 by Venom

This is a story I decided to do inspired by a gag on Family Guy, where Peter says all the shows on TV are starting to run together and then the TV airs a show called "Homicide on Sesame Street." It's a short clip so there's not much to it, so I decided to write a full story about a killer on Sesame Street. Read on.

*Bert and Ernie are enjoying an evening at home. It's getting late and they're thinking about going to bed soon. However, just as Bert gets the notion to have a snack before bed, the phone rings. Bert answers the phone*
Bert: Hello?...WHAT? Ok, I'll be right there.
Bert: Dammit!
Ernie: Hey Bert, what's wrong Bert?
Bert: Some idiot got his head shot off down at Hoopers, and they want me to go check it out. Damn, Cookie Monster is gonna be pissed if I call him during his "happy hour" but I need some help.
*Bert picks up the phone and dials Cookie Monster's number*
Cookie Monster: Cookie cookie, this is Cookie Monster, who-dis?
Bert: Cookie, it's me, Bert. The chief just called me and wants me to check out a murder. Will you come with me, partner?
Cookie Monster: but it's cookie cookie happy time!
Bert: I don't give a damn! I'm not doing this case by myself!
Cookie Monster: Ok, ok! Cookie Monster help. Just give few moments.
*Cookie Monster arrives at Bert and Ernie's house*
Cookie Monster: Ready, Bert?
Bert: Yeah, let's go. Bye Ernie, don't stay up too late.
Ernie: Sure Bert, I'll see you later Bert!
*Bert and Cookie Monster drive to the crime scene, Hooper's. They exit the car*
Bert: Where's the body?
Grover: Over there, behind the dumpster.
*Bert, Grover, and Cookie Monster walk to the body's location*
Bert: Oh jeez! This is disgusting!
Grover: I know it. Some sick bastard must have done this.
Bert: Where's our medical examiner? I want to know how bad it is.
Count: I count one! Two! Three! Four! Five! Five bullet holes!
Bert: ...Thank you Count. Don't sound so enthusiastic about your job. Alright, let's get this cleaned up. Grover, any witnesses?
Oscar: over here!
Bert: Who's this hobo?
Oscar: Hey, I'm not gay!
Bert: I said HOBO.
Grover: Bert, this is our witness. He says he saw a shadowy figure leaving the scene.
Bert: Oh, a shadowy figure! Yeah, let's get a sketch of him! Someone get a black crayon! A shadowy figure, how the hell is that gonna help?
Oscar: Hey, if you don't want my help, then screw off!
Bert: I'm sorry. I'm just out a little late and haven't had sex with Ern...anyone recently to relieve all the stress that's built up.
Cookie Monster: cookies help Cookie Monster relax!
Bert: Alright, Mr...
Oscar: Oscar.Bert. Mr. Oscar.
Oscar: The Grouch.
Bert: Which is it?
Oscar: Oscar the Grouch.
Bert: Alright Mr...The Grouch...which way did the "figure" go?
Oscar: I saw him run down Sesame Street toward's Big Bird's place. But he was way too small to be Big Bird.
Bert: Alright Grover, have some men dispatched to that area. Kermit: Excuse me, that's my authority.
Bert: Who the hell are you?
Kermit: I'm Kermit. Kermit the Frog.
Bert: Why is everyone "THE" something?
Kermit: The FBI has been called into this investigation. We believe the killer is one we've been after for years now.
Bert: Who is it?
Kermit: That information is classified.
Bert: Oh, of course. You can't tell us anything useful.
Kermit: We can't be sure who it is. And until we're sure, we can't divulge any misleading information. You understand, I'm sure.
Bert: Right, whatever.
Kermit: As I have full command of this operation, I am sending you and your partner to the area where the suspect was seen fleeing to.
Bert: What? Why us?
Kermit: Because, you've got the skills. I've seen the way you take care of business, Bert.
Bert: You've been spying in my bedroom? Bastard!
Kermit: ...Um, no, I meant your detective work.
Bert: ...Oh. Alright, we'll comply...for now. Come on Cookie Monster.
Cookie Monster: Can we stop for cookies on the way?
Bert: NO!

Welcome to the new Fallen Knights Fanzine!

This is only our 20th host or something, and only our 5th different format, but let's give this baby another go! This is LoC yet again, and I hope we can now finally begin to get this blog back off the ground. While it may take a few days to get everything completely set up, I am hoping to get the groundwork, and most of our content for the first issue up by tonight. Helping me out with this project will be The Liztress, and a number of others who will be contributing as writers or in other ways. So check us out, keep visiting, and look forward to our September 2008 issue soon to come!

Liz here, I wanted to add to this post a couple of things. First off, if you get have anything you want feel free to let us know! Oh, and let us know what you think of the FKFanzine.