The FKR Story Part 1, by The Liztress

*One night in a dark room, Grave signs online and checks his email

Grave- Hmm... Spam, spam, and "Small penis? Take 3 of these pillz" *clicks to delete the emails* Ah! A new email from Arkas. Wonder what he's got to say...

Arkas' email: Yo Grave! Been playing this new game online. Not as awesome as City of Heroes/City of Villians but still, a free online game that doesn't suck is worth trying. Click the link and join now! I expect to see you on there tonight when I log in. No excuses! You know you have nothing better to do.

Grave- What the hell could it hurt to join? Maybe I'll find some people to join the forum and then I'll be one step closer to ruling the interwebz! Mwhahahahahahahaha*cough* Damn, it's been so long since I've felt the need to laugh like that. I'm rusty.

*Grave goes to the forum and posts a new thread, commanding everyone to join. Then, he goes to the website and begins downloading the game. *3 hours later and a few drinks into the night* Damn... How big is the fucking thing? *Gets an IM*

Wiki- yo grave dude
Grave- yo Wiki
Wiki- im dling tha game you linked to in the forum
Wiki- have u chose who u goin be yet?
Grave- I haven't. Hell, I haven't even read the stuff about it. I just decided to join since AK said it was worth doing.
Wiki- hahaha then u dont kno that by dling it, u gave ur soulz to the game
Grave- Fuck. Damn AK. I wonder if he knew about that.
Grave- Have you talked to anyone else to see if they joined?
Wiki- Yeah talked to lizz
Wiki- before she blocked me she said shes been playing it for awhile now
Grave- I bet she's at a super high level then. I'll have to watch my back around her.
Wiki- nah she complained that som dudes wont let her lvl up
Wiki- but she has tons of gold
Grave- Well... I'm sure she earned that money.
Wiki- lulz its her outfit the guyz have a thread on teh games forum about it
Wiki-yesss the downloads done im off
Wiki- peace grave
Grave- Later Wiki. My download's at 96% so I might as well get ready to play. *closes IM*

*Installs game, boots up and creates a Dark Wizard Lvl. 1 with the name LoC. He begins to go around the small town he was placed in. He recognizes a few names and goes over to them.*


LoC- So... AK, you chose to be a tiny dog man? lmao
AK- Umm, do I know you?
LoC- Arkas? Your damn jokes aren't funny.
AK- Who's Arkas? I'm Tim. And you shouldn't cuss.
LoC- Dude, I'm drunk and if I want to call you a fucking dickweed, I will.
AK- O_O I'm telling my mommy!
*logs out*
LoC- Shit...
Overlord AK- LMAO, Grave dude... You just scared off a kid.
LoC- AK? Seriously is that you?
Overlord AK- SRSLY dude. Bout time you showed up.
Dark Seraph- Hey guys! Did you know there's a damn group thats following this hot female character around?
Overlord AK- lol Yeah. I told them she'll flash them if they constantly follow her.
LoC- Guys. Following a girl... I was told about this already by someone...
Phunky Guy- I told you about it, Grave.
LoC- Who are you?
Phunky Guy- its wiki and that chick is lizz
Overlord AK- I know. That's why I told the guys that. lol
Dark Seraph- Wow... I bet she'll be pissed when she finds out.
Liztress- She is pissed. But she has a plan to get Arkas back.
Overlord AK- I doubt you can do anything.
LoC- Liz! How long have you been playing this game? Wiki said you got a bunch of gold.
Liztress- About 2 months now. I told Arkas about it last week. And yeah, I got some gold. >.>
Dark Seraph- Umm... Liz... Your character's outfit is hawt.
Liztress- Ugh... I know. This is what I get for letting my boyfriend create my character.
Phunky Guy- hes got good taste
Overlord AK- He's dressed her like any guy would want a female to look like... What's your character again?
Liztress- She's a pirate. Don't ask why I chose it but I like the bonus she gets. <3 +3 attack points when fighting sea creatures. I hear a few bosses are tough unless you have a pirate in your party.
LoC- You know, ninjas are better than pirates.
Dark Seraph- Unless they let their boyfriends dress them. lol
Overlord AK- I couldn't get my girl to join. And there's no way in hell I'm going to play dress up.

*A quiet ringing noise gets Grave's attention. He got an in-game email from someone*

LoC- Anyone know how to read the emails on here?
Overlord AK- Didn't you read the site before joining?
LoC- No, but if I did I would have known that I signed my soul away!
Phunky Guy- lolz grave dude
Overlord AK- It don't say that.
Liztress- You really shouldn't believe what Wiki says.
Dark Seraph- Grave, hit CTRL + O to read the message. Chances are it's a mission.
Liztress- Yeah, the "Find a party and try to kill a few monsters" mission.
Overlord AK- That mission sucked. I could only find one person to join my party.
Phunky Guy- admit it AK you liked havin me in ur group
Overlord AK- No. I didn't.
LoC- Yep. It's the mission. And I need 3 party members. Who wants to join me?

~~~~~Character Descriptions

LoC- Lvl. 1 Dark Wizard (looks like the wizard guy off the cell phone commercial, just wearing a darker color robe. Uses a rod.)
Overlord AK- Lvl. 4 Human Gunner (looks like an overly muscled guy in dark green leather jacket and white shirt with black pants. Uses a gun.)
Dark Seraph- Lvl. 2 Dark Elf (is a grey skinned elf wearing black with red trimming. Uses a bow.)
Phunky Guy- Lvl. 1 Beast Thief (is a light brown thief with dog ears. Wears a light red tunic and pants. Uses a small knife.)
Liztress- Lvl. 1 Human Pirate (is *apparently* scantily dressed wearing a white middriff top and brown leather skirt. Uses a rapier.)

Homicide on Sesame Street Part 1 by Venom

This is a story I decided to do inspired by a gag on Family Guy, where Peter says all the shows on TV are starting to run together and then the TV airs a show called "Homicide on Sesame Street." It's a short clip so there's not much to it, so I decided to write a full story about a killer on Sesame Street. Read on.

*Bert and Ernie are enjoying an evening at home. It's getting late and they're thinking about going to bed soon. However, just as Bert gets the notion to have a snack before bed, the phone rings. Bert answers the phone*
Bert: Hello?...WHAT? Ok, I'll be right there.
Bert: Dammit!
Ernie: Hey Bert, what's wrong Bert?
Bert: Some idiot got his head shot off down at Hoopers, and they want me to go check it out. Damn, Cookie Monster is gonna be pissed if I call him during his "happy hour" but I need some help.
*Bert picks up the phone and dials Cookie Monster's number*
Cookie Monster: Cookie cookie, this is Cookie Monster, who-dis?
Bert: Cookie, it's me, Bert. The chief just called me and wants me to check out a murder. Will you come with me, partner?
Cookie Monster: but it's cookie cookie happy time!
Bert: I don't give a damn! I'm not doing this case by myself!
Cookie Monster: Ok, ok! Cookie Monster help. Just give few moments.
*Cookie Monster arrives at Bert and Ernie's house*
Cookie Monster: Ready, Bert?
Bert: Yeah, let's go. Bye Ernie, don't stay up too late.
Ernie: Sure Bert, I'll see you later Bert!
*Bert and Cookie Monster drive to the crime scene, Hooper's. They exit the car*
Bert: Where's the body?
Grover: Over there, behind the dumpster.
*Bert, Grover, and Cookie Monster walk to the body's location*
Bert: Oh jeez! This is disgusting!
Grover: I know it. Some sick bastard must have done this.
Bert: Where's our medical examiner? I want to know how bad it is.
Count: I count one! Two! Three! Four! Five! Five bullet holes!
Bert: ...Thank you Count. Don't sound so enthusiastic about your job. Alright, let's get this cleaned up. Grover, any witnesses?
Oscar: over here!
Bert: Who's this hobo?
Oscar: Hey, I'm not gay!
Bert: I said HOBO.
Grover: Bert, this is our witness. He says he saw a shadowy figure leaving the scene.
Bert: Oh, a shadowy figure! Yeah, let's get a sketch of him! Someone get a black crayon! A shadowy figure, how the hell is that gonna help?
Oscar: Hey, if you don't want my help, then screw off!
Bert: I'm sorry. I'm just out a little late and haven't had sex with Ern...anyone recently to relieve all the stress that's built up.
Cookie Monster: cookies help Cookie Monster relax!
Bert: Alright, Mr...
Oscar: Oscar.Bert. Mr. Oscar.
Oscar: The Grouch.
Bert: Which is it?
Oscar: Oscar the Grouch.
Bert: Alright Mr...The Grouch...which way did the "figure" go?
Oscar: I saw him run down Sesame Street toward's Big Bird's place. But he was way too small to be Big Bird.
Bert: Alright Grover, have some men dispatched to that area. Kermit: Excuse me, that's my authority.
Bert: Who the hell are you?
Kermit: I'm Kermit. Kermit the Frog.
Bert: Why is everyone "THE" something?
Kermit: The FBI has been called into this investigation. We believe the killer is one we've been after for years now.
Bert: Who is it?
Kermit: That information is classified.
Bert: Oh, of course. You can't tell us anything useful.
Kermit: We can't be sure who it is. And until we're sure, we can't divulge any misleading information. You understand, I'm sure.
Bert: Right, whatever.
Kermit: As I have full command of this operation, I am sending you and your partner to the area where the suspect was seen fleeing to.
Bert: What? Why us?
Kermit: Because, you've got the skills. I've seen the way you take care of business, Bert.
Bert: You've been spying in my bedroom? Bastard!
Kermit: ...Um, no, I meant your detective work.
Bert: ...Oh. Alright, we'll comply...for now. Come on Cookie Monster.
Cookie Monster: Can we stop for cookies on the way?
Bert: NO!