The Game

That night a few weeks ago seemed so innocent. I was in Blind Spot trying to recover some face after failing at too many jobs. Blind Spot is a great place to rub elbows with the best and worst people of the city. The best come to rub how amazing they are in the faces of the worst…but tonight I was on everyone’s shit list. I completely botched my last job and was the only surviving member to make it back and meekly ask for pay. The rest of my team had been killed while we were breaking into Comtech for some computer chip. Bucky, Calypso and Lockout were all decimated by the security force that caught up with us. I managed to escape, but my dignity and future career went out with a bloody mess.

I’m what this city calls a Stranger. Strangers are essentially hired help for whatever price for whatever job. You need to have some corporate secrets stolen for a hostile takeover? Someone can do it. You need to have your ex-boyfriend snuffed out for being a total sleaze? I’m sure someone would do it for the right price. Most of the Strangers hang out in places like Blind Spot picking up jobs while drinks are served. People will either call us or call people known as Familiars to get their jobs done. Familiars are the head honchos for finding work for Strangers. They’re the ones to find the better jobs by talking to corporations or senators or something. Having a Familiar gives usually gets you higher paying jobs and more security that you’re not getting set up by Feds or something. To hide our true identities and so the fuzz doesn’t pick up on what we’re up to, all Strangers give out bogus names to build a reputation on. To name a few; Raven, Armitage, Mad Maxxine are some of the bigger names that are tossed around frequently and are held in the highest regard in Stranger society.

Everyone knows about Strangers. The majority of the media makes us out to be crazed terrorists that will attack your family and corrupt your children for any kind of money. There are others that idolize us and try taking our jobs in hopes of finding the underground glory that some of us have. They make up stories, hang out at the places we do when we’re finding jobs, end up in prison for theft, or in the hospital (or morgue) after picking the wrong fight a guy with a bigger gun. Posers usually get what’s coming to them from actual Strangers that find out they’re taking our work just to look cool.

It had been an awkward night of mockery and embarrassing fumbles. Some bald headed broad loaded with tattoos and sparkling dermal piercings on her face kept giggling and whispering to her equally body modified friends while they looked in my direction. All I could do was hunch closer to the bar counter like it was trying to absorb me into its onyx marble finish. I would hate this place if I didn’t need it so much. God forbid I become a desk jockey. I welcomed an interruption from the club which came in the form of a vibrating cell phone with an enthusiastic, "Whathefug d'you want?"
My Familiar, Symtum… she’s a social darling and an absolute jewel of a woman for continuously hiring me for work. However, Symtum is a woman not to vex. She’ll rip you apart socially, and then send her grunts to finish off what’s left of your sorry nameless carcass. Personally, I’ve never seen her. But she’s obviously seen me and knows I’m hurting bad financially and also my reputation is somewhere at the bottom of the trash with an empty tequila bottle. She probably realizes I’m a little drunk too. She knows I’m dying to get off my losing streak and willing to do anything to get back the fame and funds. Anything than what she’s about to tell me.
Her voice was like a velvet ginsu knife as it cut through my eardrum and caressed my brain as she spoke smoothly, “Hun, I know times are tough,” She says like she was talking to a close friend and not someone she was, “I know you’re hurting, sweetheart, but I promise things’ll get better for you.”

“Yeahwull, they cant get ennyworse,” I snapped back with the classic comeback as the bartender filled my shot glass to the brim with golden liquid courage.

“See? That’s what I like about you, darling. You’re so positive.” I could feel her words like she was petting the side of my ear with her voice, “I have something for you that I know you can pull off. I know you can and there’s no one else involved but you, lovely.”

No answer from me indicated that I was listening like a good little girl.

“Excellent.” She said,

“Now listen. It’s an easy job and it would take a complete idiot to muck it up. I know you’re an idiot, but you’re my idiot, babydoll. All it takes,” she said, her voice lowering, like her mouth was dripping with raw sex, “is for you to pick up a something for me at the subway station; a little silver attaché case. That’s it, honey. It’s that easy!”

It’s never that easy. It’s never just picking up a case at the subway station. There’s always someone waiting with a bigger gun protecting that little silver case. There’s always something planted on the case for someone to find and kill you later. There is always something.

“Darling,” She said, her silken tongue spun the pet name around my earlobe and into my skull. “You need to go now, sweetie. You’re so close, doll. Go now. I’ll upload the directions to you now. Unless…” She paused, like she was waiting for an objection we both knew wouldn’t be coming up. The directions were uploaded into my cell phone. The subway in question wasn’t far from Blind Spot; maybe five minutes tops if I ran.

“Call me when you get it, babe. Just don’t open it.” The line goes quiet. I wanted to ask why she picked me. I wanted to ask why it was important. I wanted to ask her if I had pissed her off recently. But, what questions would she truthfully answer anyway?

I stuck my tab with the body modders and left Blind Spot with my stomach in knots. I knew something like this was destined to end up going wrong. Strangers that did jobs alone were either notoriously exceptional at what they did or they were dead. Although, I thought as I felt for my gun holstered at my chest, it is only picking up a case. The city was still alive even at two in the morning when I stepped outside. I hoped I would be as well in the next hour or so. The night air was cool and the streetlights gave the cityscape a soft yellow tint. I clutched my coat tightly to myself and started to jog across the street. It wouldn’t be far.

It was ten minutes and I was in the white and red sterile subway station. It was vacant and quiet even as I was heading down the stairs. Usually there was at least one poor wretch begging for my change. My paranoia, partnered with my heartbeat, skyrocketed as the stairs came to the boarding platform. I wasn’t alone anymore, but that didn’t set me at ease.

As I thought, the job of picking up a little silver attaché case ended up being something more complex. There were around two dozen men wearing matching black suits waiting at the subway station with guns in hand. Each of them smiled giddily when I gawked at them with a mixture of dread and stupefied terror etched in my face. When the bullets flew, so did I. I got lucky and dropped two of them with the first round of bullets. The remaining ten ducked started to knock over the benches for cover and started firing bullets rapidly. I would have made John Woo proud if I hadn’t fought so dirty. I ran on walls, blind fired at anything that moved. I shot them in the back. One of those goons nearly had me. He had me pinned down on the floor with a gun to my head, but then I started to cry about having children at home. When his face softened and gun lowered, I turned his face into pulp. It’s not to say that these gentlemen were complete moppets. I could feel bullets in my shoulder and a few lodged in my gut. Only when the three bodies were on the ground dead was when I started to feel the bullets in my body. I was sobbing as I stood in the subway that was painted in various blood types.

I’m spitting up blood. I wish I could say something beautiful about my bodily fluids being vomited out of my mouth and onto the ground in front of me. It’s not. Even when all is said and done, I still hadn’t seen anything of this mysterious silver attaché case. I slipped on my own blood that I just spat up and the ground quickly met up with my face. At this particular point in time, my body was already wracked with pain, so the fall only makes me wail like a banshee to match the oncoming sirens.

But there it was. There was the silver attaché case right under the bench closest to me. I slithered over to the case and ignore whatever the hell Symtum said earlier about not opening it up. I earned this. If it’s money, I thought, I’m buying off the cops that should be showing up here soon. If the case has a gun or something with a minor sharp edge, I’ll go hunt down Symtum and carve out her smug face. I propped my back against an overturned bench that was previously used for cover and I opened the case. I nearly threw up at what I saw.

Inside the case rested a single sheet white paper written in elegant black calligraphy, “Welcome back to the game, Princess.”

Kiwi's Explosively Great Stories

I present yet some more of Kiwi's amazing totally awesome stories!!

Spot the Timber Wolf anxiously bounded up the walkway to the door of his best friend's, Robert the Mad Dog, house. He stopped at the door, took a breath, then blew the door down with his arm-mounted lasers. "You didn't knock, you rude mech!" exclaimed Robert as he glared at Spot. "Sorry, I was in a hurry."

"I'll excuse your lack of manners, this time."

"So, what are our plans for tonight?"

"The same thing they are every night, Spot." Spot thought for a moment, "Eat babies?" Robert paused at this, "Ok, maybe it's not the same thing we do every night."

"Ooooo, what is it?"

"Dunno! Let's go!"

As they left, a thought struck Spot, "Hey Robert, if there's no door, what's gonna stop thieves?" Robert shrugged, "Everything I have is rigged to violently explode should someone try to steal it."

"How would they know that will happen?"

"When it goes off in their face, I imagine."

Inane conversation continued for some time until they met Tiffany the Cauldron Born. "Hi, Tiffany!" said Spot waving at her. "How is our obligatory female today?" asked Robert. Tiffany waved back and said, "I'm alright, whatcha doing?"

"No clue, but it will probably involve explosions. Wanna come?" said Robert. "Sure! It's not like I have anything better to do!" said Tiffany as she joined the two on their walk to someplace. "What were you gonna do?" Spot asked Tiffany. "I was gonna help out at the orphanage down the street. They've been busy since someone went on a rampage through that neighborhood." Robert looked up at the sky in thought for a moment, "Oh yeah! That was us who did that! Do you think you can pick us up some babies there later?" Tiffany nodded, "Sure! I'll see what I can do!"

And so their heroic journey began.
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Wasn't that just great? If you disagree with me, then Kiwi will hunt you down and blow you up. ^_^ Here's the next part.

"Hey Robert."

"Yeah, Spot?"

"Where do babies come from?" At this, the trio stopped moving. "Well, ummm... I don't quite know, what about you, Tiffany?" Tiffany thought for a moment, then put forward her theory, "Well, ya know how sick and dead people go to hospitals?" The other two nodded their heads. "Well, maybe they salavge the parts from the dead and what sick people don't need. Then they use those parts to make babies!" The other two thought for a moment and realized this made a good deal of sense. "But why do they need two people for a baby?"

"To sign waivers and such?"

"Yeah, you can't trust a single person these days." With a legendary mystery solved, they continued on with their journey. They continued for a while until Robert spoke up, "Hey, do you hear something?" The group listened intensely and then ran to the source. They found an orange Raven running around a Nova Cat, shooting him with pulse lasers, and repeatedly yelling "Pester!"

"It's the Pester Machine!" exclaimed Spot. They sat back and watched the fight. It continued in the same manner it had been for about a minute, until the Nova Cat managed to nick him with one of his lasers. The Pester Machine stood still and gasped. "You... You... YOU HIT ME!" with that he ran around the Nova Cat faster then he had been, yelling "PESTER!" at a rate faster then any mere mortal could even hope to approach. "SO MUCH PESTERING!" shouted the Nova Cat in sheer frustration. Then, he exploded.

The trio approached the annoying menace. "You've slowed down." said Robert. "He was more patient then they usually are. How are you guys?"

"We're good, and we're on a journey. Wanna come?"

"Will there be people to pester?"

"More then likely."

"I'm in then!"
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(Any copyrighted characters or material belong to their respective owners, don't sue, plzkthnx)
Tune in next part for more of Kiwi's fantastic stories! As always, if you enjoyed this stories and want to read more log into Fallen Knights Refuge and look up Members' Works. And bug Kiwi for more as well.

Opening Disaster, by Kiwi

I present to everyone, one of Kiwi's great-so-awesome-it-should-be-illegal stories!
If you like this story, check out his thread dedicated to them here:



We find our heroes sitting in Robert's living room, bored beyond measure. "You'd think that 5 mechs and a tank could get into all sorts of mischief on a daily basis, but here we are, sitting around with nothing to do," said Robert with a sigh. "Yeah, I thought we'd get into all kinds of fun things," said Angela annoyed. The group sat in silence for a moment longer when suddenly, the front door flew off its hinges, slammed into the Pester Machine, and pinned him to the wall, leaving just his legs visible and twitching. Robert darted over to where the Pester Machine was pinned, "You ok there?"

"It's just a flesh wound."

"You don't have flesh."

"Then it's worse then it looks," with this, Robert pried the door off the Pester Machine.

"Hi guys!" Everyone turned to see Larry the Catapult coming in. "Doesn't anybody knock anymore," demanded Robert, annoyed at the rudeness of kids these days. "Sorry," said Larry sheepishly. "Why did you disappear," asked Tiffany. "Story reasons, can't introduce too many characters too quickly or the readers gets lost," explained Larry. "Anyway, I just heard that at some high tech laboratory they were cloning babies!" This revelation everyone look at Larry.

"Are you serious?"

"My dream of pestering 20 babies at once could come true!"

"Whoo-hoo! All you can eat buffet!" yelled both Robert and Spot. Larry shook his head, "They won't share, and the place is locked down tight." Angela stepped forward, "I could kick'em in the nadgers." Larry again shook his head, "No go, they're all normal sized people, no mechs, and they're eunuchs on top of that. The only way to get at it is a stealthy approach." Robert and Spot both looked down, "We're not good at stealth." Tiffany took a step forward this time, "I used to lead some covert ops awhile back." Spot looked at Tiffany, "What covert ops?"

"That's classified."

"Then how come you mentioned them?"

"Ask anymore questions and I'll kick you in the nadgers."

"The prosecution rest," said Spot as he took a step away from Tiffany. "Alright, so Tiffany's in charge of planning this operation," said Robert. Larry dropped a bundle of papers on the floor, "Here's the blueprints of the facility." Tyrese looked at them incredulously, "How did you get these?" Larry quickly answered, "Found it on the internet." Tiffany picked them up, "I'll start planning right away."

Two hours later

"So are we clear on the plan," asked Tiffany as she looked around. Everyone except Spot nodded their head, "Just one question, why are you and Angela the distraction and not any of the others?"

"Because I am much more skilled at stealth then you, and both me and Angela could use our feminine wiles to avoid trouble, if worst comes to worst." Spot shaked his fist, so to speak, at this, "Accursed feminine wiles; they are an enemy of mine." Angela shot Spot a dirty look and Tiffany just ignore him. "Alright, are there anymore questions?" Everyone shaked their head. "Let's get to work!"
------------------------------------------------------------------

The group was hiding in the fringe of a forest placed conveniently close to the facility there were plotting to infiltrate. "Everyone ready," asked Tiffany. Everyone nodded their heads. "Alright, Angela, let's go!" They moved about 500 yards to the left of the group then moved towards the facility. When they got close enough, Tiffany turned to Angela and screamed, "I KNOW YOU WERE WITH HIM!

"IS IT MY FAULT HE LOVES ME MORE?"

"HE'S MINE AND YOU KNOW IT!"

One of the guards shouted out, "Cat fight!" His buddy turned to him, "But their machines, it's kinda wierd." Guard number one looked at him for a moment as if he was stupid, "It's two girls, even if they are machines, fighting, and that makes it hot." With this established, all the guards ran out to watch.

"YOU'RE JUST MAD YOU'RE NOT WOMAN ENOUGH FOR HIM!"

"OH LIKE YOU ARE?"

"MUCH MORE THEN YOU!"

"YOU'RE FAT!"

"YOU'RE SMALL!"

"YOU'RE SHORTER THEN I AM!"

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT HEIGHT!"

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

At that moment, Angela tackled Tiffany and they started brawling. The rest of the group took this as the signal and snuck into the compound unnoticed. When the group was out of sight, the two stopped fighting, got up, and shook hands. "Friends?"

"Friends."

"Let's go shopping for shoes."

"But I don't wear shoes."

The guards went back to their post, disappointed that it was over, and the two ladies walked off towards the woods. Inside the building, the group was sitting in an airduct that somehow could fit them all. "How could this hold us all?" asked Spot. "Everything involving stealth has to have the main characters in airducts or other small spaces," responded Larry. "Still, this thing is so huge, you couldn't even make up a reason for it being this large," said Tyrese. "Moral reasons," stated Larry. "That works."

"Hey guys," said Tiffany as she came up on the group. "So..." Robert paused for dramatic effect, "what's our next move again?" Tiffany took a breath, "We're gonna have to get the master control keycard." It was the Pester Machine's turn to be confused, "Huh? Whuzzat?"

"It's the keycard that belongs to the guy who runs the place, he's paranoid about thieves breaking into his house so he keeps the card in a high security room with laser beams and pressure sensitive floor."

"That seems unnecessary."

"But it's a chance for us. Now we're gonna lower Angela from this vent here so she can grab it."

"Why me?"

"Because, you're the smallest here."

"The Pester Machine is smaller then me."

"But I have no arms."

"I'm all thumbs when it comes to things like these."

"Fine," said Tiffany with a sigh, "Spot, you're doing it."

"Why me?"

"Because I've seen you with a slinky before."

"Oh, ok."

"The air vent over the keycard is over there, let's get moving." The rest of the group moved forward but Tiffany stood where she was and called Angela over to talk to her, "What was it you meant when you called me small?" Angela was surprised by this. "Uhhhh... I mean... It's just something I saw on TV." Tiffany appear to accept this and she ran to catch up with the group. Once she and Angela caught up with the group they began to lower Spot down to the keycard. While he was halfway there the door opened and he froze in place. The owner of the lab came in whistling a merry tune, when he sensed that something was amiss and looked up. "What in the world are you?"

"Uhhh... a spider?"

"Oh, ok," the lab owner took another step forward then it hit him. "SPIDER!" he screamed as he ran out the door. "Alright guys, a little more." When he was brought with in reach he quickly grabbed it and replaced it with a block of wood he had in his other hand. "Pull me up!" They pulled him up, post haste and he showed off his prize. "Why did you put the block of wood in it's place?" asked Tyrese. Spot looked at him for a moment, "Haven't you ever seen Indiana Jones movies?" Tyrese shook his turret, "That's only required in ancient temples." Tiffany stepped in between the two, "That's enough of that, it's time to move onto the next part of the plan."
------------------------------------------------------------------

The group was hiding in a storage closet large enough for them all, wearing lab coats that fit them perfectly, even Tyrese. "It's convenient that all the halls and such are mech sized," said Robert. "There are even some lab coats that fit us perfectly," said Spot. Larry nodded, "Of course, it would have taken too long to describe a way we could get around those obstacles." The group headed out of the supply closet and towards their objective. On they way they passed through three metal detectors and no one seemed to notice the fact that they broke them going through the things. When they finally reached their destination. Spot swiped the card through the reader and the door opened to reveal a machine spitting out small goats. Everyone turned to look at Larry, "You said they were cloning babies," said the Pester Machine accusingly. Larry began backing away from the group, "I heard they were cloning kids. I thought they were cloning'em as babies and growing them!" The rest of the group looked down at the ground dejected.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The group turned to see the owner and a few guards standing around him, "I don't know what you spiders want but stay away from my kid machine!" Robert just waved him off, "We didn't come here for any goats, we were looking for a machine that cloned babies." The owner scratched his head, "Oh, that, it's right down the hall." Robert and the rest were elated and began to walk of to see it for themselves. "However, I can't have spiders, especially giant ones, in my facility," with that the owner pushed a button on a remote and ran off. "Self-destruct in 5 minutes!" Tiffany turned to the group, "The main computer is right down the hallway too! Maybe we can shut off the self-destruct from there." The group ran to see a computer counting down the time till the explodification process begins. Tiffany arrived ahead and was trying to crack the password to stop it. "It's no good!"

"Try checking his documents! Maybe there's a hint there!"

"Good idea!" However her check was in vain as the time reached 10 seconds, everyone held their breath as it counted down: 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, the whole group covered their heads, some more successful then others, but all they heard was a beep. They looked up to see the Blue Screen of Death had stopped the count down in time. As one, they released a sigh of relief. They heard another beep and looked up at the screen to see, "Just kidding."

The explosion was a pretty nice one, the owner couldn't deny that as he rode of in his copter. It was just a shame he lost the kid machine. Still, at least the spiders were dead.

Robert picked himself up off the ground. "Well, that was a waste," said Angela as she picked herself up off the ground as well. "At least we had something to do," said Tiffany. "I didn't get to achieve my dream," the Pester Machine sounded as if he was on the verge of tears. "There, there, you'll get it eventually," Spot said to comfort him as he patted him on the back. "Well, what do we do now?" said Spot. "What we must always do" responded Robert, "Trivial Pursuit."

The End


Legal Stuff:
(Any copyrighted characters or material belong to their respective owners, don't sue, plzkthnx)

The FKR Story Part 1, by The Liztress

*One night in a dark room, Grave signs online and checks his email

Grave- Hmm... Spam, spam, and "Small penis? Take 3 of these pillz" *clicks to delete the emails* Ah! A new email from Arkas. Wonder what he's got to say...

Arkas' email: Yo Grave! Been playing this new game online. Not as awesome as City of Heroes/City of Villians but still, a free online game that doesn't suck is worth trying. Click the link and join now! I expect to see you on there tonight when I log in. No excuses! You know you have nothing better to do.

Grave- What the hell could it hurt to join? Maybe I'll find some people to join the forum and then I'll be one step closer to ruling the interwebz! Mwhahahahahahahaha*cough* Damn, it's been so long since I've felt the need to laugh like that. I'm rusty.

*Grave goes to the forum and posts a new thread, commanding everyone to join. Then, he goes to the website and begins downloading the game. *3 hours later and a few drinks into the night* Damn... How big is the fucking thing? *Gets an IM*

Wiki- yo grave dude
Grave- yo Wiki
Wiki- im dling tha game you linked to in the forum
Wiki- have u chose who u goin be yet?
Grave- I haven't. Hell, I haven't even read the stuff about it. I just decided to join since AK said it was worth doing.
Wiki- hahaha then u dont kno that by dling it, u gave ur soulz to the game
Grave- Fuck. Damn AK. I wonder if he knew about that.
Grave- Have you talked to anyone else to see if they joined?
Wiki- Yeah talked to lizz
Wiki- before she blocked me she said shes been playing it for awhile now
Grave- I bet she's at a super high level then. I'll have to watch my back around her.
Wiki- nah she complained that som dudes wont let her lvl up
Wiki- but she has tons of gold
Grave- Well... I'm sure she earned that money.
Wiki- lulz its her outfit the guyz have a thread on teh games forum about it
Wiki-yesss the downloads done im off
Wiki- peace grave
Grave- Later Wiki. My download's at 96% so I might as well get ready to play. *closes IM*

*Installs game, boots up and creates a Dark Wizard Lvl. 1 with the name LoC. He begins to go around the small town he was placed in. He recognizes a few names and goes over to them.*


LoC- So... AK, you chose to be a tiny dog man? lmao
AK- Umm, do I know you?
LoC- Arkas? Your damn jokes aren't funny.
AK- Who's Arkas? I'm Tim. And you shouldn't cuss.
LoC- Dude, I'm drunk and if I want to call you a fucking dickweed, I will.
AK- O_O I'm telling my mommy!
*logs out*
LoC- Shit...
Overlord AK- LMAO, Grave dude... You just scared off a kid.
LoC- AK? Seriously is that you?
Overlord AK- SRSLY dude. Bout time you showed up.
Dark Seraph- Hey guys! Did you know there's a damn group thats following this hot female character around?
Overlord AK- lol Yeah. I told them she'll flash them if they constantly follow her.
LoC- Guys. Following a girl... I was told about this already by someone...
Phunky Guy- I told you about it, Grave.
LoC- Who are you?
Phunky Guy- its wiki and that chick is lizz
Overlord AK- I know. That's why I told the guys that. lol
Dark Seraph- Wow... I bet she'll be pissed when she finds out.
Liztress- She is pissed. But she has a plan to get Arkas back.
Overlord AK- I doubt you can do anything.
LoC- Liz! How long have you been playing this game? Wiki said you got a bunch of gold.
Liztress- About 2 months now. I told Arkas about it last week. And yeah, I got some gold. >.>
Dark Seraph- Umm... Liz... Your character's outfit is hawt.
Liztress- Ugh... I know. This is what I get for letting my boyfriend create my character.
Phunky Guy- hes got good taste
Overlord AK- He's dressed her like any guy would want a female to look like... What's your character again?
Liztress- She's a pirate. Don't ask why I chose it but I like the bonus she gets. <3 +3 attack points when fighting sea creatures. I hear a few bosses are tough unless you have a pirate in your party.
LoC- You know, ninjas are better than pirates.
Dark Seraph- Unless they let their boyfriends dress them. lol
Overlord AK- I couldn't get my girl to join. And there's no way in hell I'm going to play dress up.

*A quiet ringing noise gets Grave's attention. He got an in-game email from someone*

LoC- Anyone know how to read the emails on here?
Overlord AK- Didn't you read the site before joining?
LoC- No, but if I did I would have known that I signed my soul away!
Phunky Guy- lolz grave dude
Overlord AK- It don't say that.
Liztress- You really shouldn't believe what Wiki says.
Dark Seraph- Grave, hit CTRL + O to read the message. Chances are it's a mission.
Liztress- Yeah, the "Find a party and try to kill a few monsters" mission.
Overlord AK- That mission sucked. I could only find one person to join my party.
Phunky Guy- admit it AK you liked havin me in ur group
Overlord AK- No. I didn't.
LoC- Yep. It's the mission. And I need 3 party members. Who wants to join me?

~~~~~Character Descriptions

LoC- Lvl. 1 Dark Wizard (looks like the wizard guy off the cell phone commercial, just wearing a darker color robe. Uses a rod.)
Overlord AK- Lvl. 4 Human Gunner (looks like an overly muscled guy in dark green leather jacket and white shirt with black pants. Uses a gun.)
Dark Seraph- Lvl. 2 Dark Elf (is a grey skinned elf wearing black with red trimming. Uses a bow.)
Phunky Guy- Lvl. 1 Beast Thief (is a light brown thief with dog ears. Wears a light red tunic and pants. Uses a small knife.)
Liztress- Lvl. 1 Human Pirate (is *apparently* scantily dressed wearing a white middriff top and brown leather skirt. Uses a rapier.)

Homicide on Sesame Street Part 1 by Venom

This is a story I decided to do inspired by a gag on Family Guy, where Peter says all the shows on TV are starting to run together and then the TV airs a show called "Homicide on Sesame Street." It's a short clip so there's not much to it, so I decided to write a full story about a killer on Sesame Street. Read on.

*Bert and Ernie are enjoying an evening at home. It's getting late and they're thinking about going to bed soon. However, just as Bert gets the notion to have a snack before bed, the phone rings. Bert answers the phone*
Bert: Hello?...WHAT? Ok, I'll be right there.
Bert: Dammit!
Ernie: Hey Bert, what's wrong Bert?
Bert: Some idiot got his head shot off down at Hoopers, and they want me to go check it out. Damn, Cookie Monster is gonna be pissed if I call him during his "happy hour" but I need some help.
*Bert picks up the phone and dials Cookie Monster's number*
Cookie Monster: Cookie cookie, this is Cookie Monster, who-dis?
Bert: Cookie, it's me, Bert. The chief just called me and wants me to check out a murder. Will you come with me, partner?
Cookie Monster: but it's cookie cookie happy time!
Bert: I don't give a damn! I'm not doing this case by myself!
Cookie Monster: Ok, ok! Cookie Monster help. Just give few moments.
*Cookie Monster arrives at Bert and Ernie's house*
Cookie Monster: Ready, Bert?
Bert: Yeah, let's go. Bye Ernie, don't stay up too late.
Ernie: Sure Bert, I'll see you later Bert!
*Bert and Cookie Monster drive to the crime scene, Hooper's. They exit the car*
Bert: Where's the body?
Grover: Over there, behind the dumpster.
*Bert, Grover, and Cookie Monster walk to the body's location*
Bert: Oh jeez! This is disgusting!
Grover: I know it. Some sick bastard must have done this.
Bert: Where's our medical examiner? I want to know how bad it is.
Count: I count one! Two! Three! Four! Five! Five bullet holes!
Bert: ...Thank you Count. Don't sound so enthusiastic about your job. Alright, let's get this cleaned up. Grover, any witnesses?
Oscar: over here!
Bert: Who's this hobo?
Oscar: Hey, I'm not gay!
Bert: I said HOBO.
Grover: Bert, this is our witness. He says he saw a shadowy figure leaving the scene.
Bert: Oh, a shadowy figure! Yeah, let's get a sketch of him! Someone get a black crayon! A shadowy figure, how the hell is that gonna help?
Oscar: Hey, if you don't want my help, then screw off!
Bert: I'm sorry. I'm just out a little late and haven't had sex with Ern...anyone recently to relieve all the stress that's built up.
Cookie Monster: cookies help Cookie Monster relax!
Bert: Alright, Mr...
Oscar: Oscar.Bert. Mr. Oscar.
Oscar: The Grouch.
Bert: Which is it?
Oscar: Oscar the Grouch.
Bert: Alright Mr...The Grouch...which way did the "figure" go?
Oscar: I saw him run down Sesame Street toward's Big Bird's place. But he was way too small to be Big Bird.
Bert: Alright Grover, have some men dispatched to that area. Kermit: Excuse me, that's my authority.
Bert: Who the hell are you?
Kermit: I'm Kermit. Kermit the Frog.
Bert: Why is everyone "THE" something?
Kermit: The FBI has been called into this investigation. We believe the killer is one we've been after for years now.
Bert: Who is it?
Kermit: That information is classified.
Bert: Oh, of course. You can't tell us anything useful.
Kermit: We can't be sure who it is. And until we're sure, we can't divulge any misleading information. You understand, I'm sure.
Bert: Right, whatever.
Kermit: As I have full command of this operation, I am sending you and your partner to the area where the suspect was seen fleeing to.
Bert: What? Why us?
Kermit: Because, you've got the skills. I've seen the way you take care of business, Bert.
Bert: You've been spying in my bedroom? Bastard!
Kermit: ...Um, no, I meant your detective work.
Bert: ...Oh. Alright, we'll comply...for now. Come on Cookie Monster.
Cookie Monster: Can we stop for cookies on the way?
Bert: NO!