Ask-A-Girl

Alrighty guys and gals, it's time for Ask-A-Girl again! I hope these answers suffice for those that sent in questions, and guys, please don't be shy! I'm always up for having questions being asked.

There is a hole in my sock right now, my toe keeps sticking out of it, it's really irritating me. How irritating is it to have a hole in your crotch like that? It must be like 8-million-plus-1 times worse, right?

Sincerely,
Ima Cocker

Dear Ima Cocker,

It is rather irritating to have a hole in our crotch like that, but we do actually get pleasure from this said hole, whereas I'm not too sure the hole in your sock gets much pleasure. Here's a trick: next time your toe goes through the said hole, bend down and listen to it. If you don't hear any sound, apologize to your sock for not giving it the time of day that it deserves.

Can you identify the body or the living person of the slave called Spartacus?

Signed,
Roman Soldier.


Dear Soldier,

I'm not quite sure that I could possibly identify the body of the slave called Spartacus, but I'm sure that if you travel over to the museum in Rome, you'll be able to learn all about him, and possibly visit his grave, if you manage to survive that long as I heard that there are many obstacles you have to go through, including certain ones that may lead to your death if you're not careful, before being able to get to it. Best of luck!

How come no girls have lasers coming out of their eyes? I mean, isn't everyone supposed to secretly be a space cyborg from the year 37890?

Sincerely,
Lonely Cyborg

Dear Lonely,

I do not know who has revealed this information to you. I have informed FBI agents, along with detectives, and firefighters that someone has revealed too much information to you and you must be detained IMMEDIATELY (this, of course, is code for telling you that you need to just check behind the girl's hair and you'll see a button. Press it, and the lasers will come out).